


Redire

by engolras



Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M, it's just a mess of unresolved feelings, unfortunately polyamory doesn't happen in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 11:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6564235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/engolras/pseuds/engolras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In trying to make things better, Bucky temporarily makes things worse.  He can't say he's surprised by this development.</p>
<p>update 07/25/17: changed a few lines i was no longer happy with.  also, a sequel for this is in the works.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Redire

**Author's Note:**

> the idea came into my head the other day and refused to go unwritten, so here it is. i'm actually really happy with this one, so hopefully it actually turned out well.

Tony Stark finds him on sweltering night in June, and doesn’t make a scene.  Bucky’s thankful for that considering that they’re surrounded by a pack of civilians with instant media access.  One word from Stark about the Winter Soldier being in their midst, and Bucky would have news teams picking up his trail through social media updates within minutes.  The leftovers of SHIELD were bad enough already; he didn’t need public news outlets broadcasting an actual sighting of him.  

They’re in a restaurant, which Bucky only ducked into because he felt like someone was following him through the streets and the place was nearly packed.  Anyone who wanted to start something wouldn’t start it in a crowded fast food restaurant.  Well, anyone with any remaining shred of morality wouldn’t.  So when Bucky bumps right into Tony Stark, arms full of take out bags and on his way to the door, his initial panic is somewhat calmed by the fact that he knows Stark won’t start a fight.  “Somewhat” being the key word because bumping into a guy you know has been trailing you for the past few months - Bucky’s gotten to the point where he can spot Stark tech a mile away - isn’t a situation most people would stay calm in.

Stark, however, seems generally unaffected; just a bit confused and off balance.  He’s squinting a bit behind his sunglasses, and Bucky barely controls the urge to sprint away.  He knows he looks a bit different than the last time anyone had managed to get a lead on him - he has a beard now and a fake scar across his cheek - but Stark’s not exactly looking at him from a distance either.  On the off chance Stark didn’t recognize him yet, running away would just make him look suspicious, and Bucky would much rather blow his cover quietly, if he had to at all.

Neither of them have said a word yet, each waiting for the other to speak.  Bucky, stalling, notices that he knocked a bag out of Stark’s hand when he bumped into him, and crouches down to pick it up for him.  He straightens up and holds the paper bag out to Stark, who takes it from him gingerly, still squinting.

“Thanks,” Stark says, finally breaking the silence between them.  “Do I know you?”

“I believe this is the first time we’ve met,” Bucky replies.  In all fairness, he’s not lying.

Stark doesn’t look entirely convinced, but doesn’t press any further.  “Shame,” he says.  “Guess I’ve been missing out then.”

Bucky’s momentarily thrown off balance by the fact that this is the first time someone’s flirted with him in the twenty first century, but shows no outward sign of it.  “I can say, without a doubt, that I have been.”

Stark seems pleased, which Bucky supposes is better than the opposite.  In fact, now that he thinks about it, he wouldn’t be adverse to the idea of flirting outrageously with Stark under different circumstances.  But the threat of being taken into custody and/or being forced to face Steve so soon is preventing Bucky from experience too much enjoyment.

“Well, would you like to rectify that?” Stark asks in an overtly suggestive tone.  “I mean, I could probably eat all of this by myself,” Stark nods to the bags he’s holding, “but I also probably shouldn’t.  And I don’t think I can stand spending another night alone in that tower.”

Bucky knows that Stark’s trying to turn his want for companionship into something seductive, and he probably would have fallen for it if he hadn’t been trained to read people.  He knows that if he turns Stark down, Stark will look elsewhere, and that he’ll definitely find someone to fall for that line.  Bucky doesn’t doubt that Stark is a decent judge of character, but letting people know that the rest of the Avengers were out of town would doubtlessly attract attention from unwanted sources.

So Bucky agrees, and Stark’s relief is visible.

 

The car ride to the tower is filled with more flirtatious remarks, and Bucky sincerely wishes he could forget who they are and get lost in it instead of having to keep pulling back without seeming entirely disinterested.  Stark takes over the talking for a few minutes while Bucky tries to figure out what the hell he’s going to do once they get to the tower.  Actually having sex with Stark felt as if he’d be taking advantage of him, outright refusing him would only raise suspicion, and he couldn’t just reveal himself once they got there.  As they pull into the garage, Bucky decides the second option is the lesser evil, and resolves to refuse any advances under the guise of “I changed my mind”.  It would doubtlessly be a bit of a blow to Stark’s ego, but it was much better than the alternatives.

They take the elevator up quite a few floors, each with a bag of fast food in hand.  The voice that comes from everywhere - which Stark explains is an A.I. - makes Bucky jump when he first hears it.  Stark looks at him in a way that makes Bucky a bit worried, but nothing immediately comes of it.

In fact, nothing concerning happens for the next half an hour.  Once they arrive at the top floor and find a table, they sit and eat their food, and it’s probably the best burger Bucky’s ever had.  He says so, and Stark is extremely pleased to hear it.  They talk mostly about movies, and the few times Bucky has had to temporarily hide out in movie theatres serve him well.  Stark has an opinion on seemingly everything, and Bucky’s surprised to find himself agreeing more often than not out of actual shared views instead of taking the easy route of agreeing with everything in order to avoid revealing his lack of knowledge on a subject should he be asked to defend a different stance on it.  Movies are pretty subjective though, so it’s safer ground than anything political.  

Once they’re done eating, however, Bucky remembers that if Stark hasn’t figured out who he is by now, Bucky’s going to have to find some way to turn any advances down without seeming like a creep.  And Stark is definitely not helping anything by getting really close to his face after they dump the bags and wrappers in the trash.  

Stark’s hand comes towards his face, and Bucky puts an unearthly amount of effort into not flinching away.  Stark’s fingers graze Bucky’s jaw, and move up over his cheek, and touch the fake scar, and stay there.  The look in Stark’s eyes turns into something incomprehensible to Bucky.

“Nice fake scar, Barnes.”

Shit.

“When’d you figure it out?” Bucky asks.

“The scar?  Just then.  Who you are?” Stark snorts.  “I’ve seen more than enough pictures of you to have been ninety five percent sure when you bumped into me.  Admittedly, the beard and the scar threw me off a bit, but the long sleeves and gloves in the summer, plus the fact that you didn’t take the gloves off to eat, were pretty suspicious.  Not to mention the fact that you just silently stared at me for a few minutes.”  He looks smug as he asks, “Were you surprised by me?”

“Well, it’s not like I run into you at fast food places regularly,” Bucky replies.  “What would you have done if you were wrong?”

The smugness fades from Stark’s face, and gets replaced by a pensive expression.  “Probably would have actually had sex with you,” he admits.  “It’s been a while since I disappointed everyone and got the ‘you’re better than this’ talk from Steve.”

“Well, you’ll get to fill that disappointment quota because you’re not gonna tell anyone I was here.”

Stark’s new expression is one of honest confusion.  “And why not?”

Bucky steps back, and Stark’s hand falls from where it had rested on his face.  

“I can’t face him yet.”

Stark’s face flashes something that Bucky, at first, thinks is sympathy, but he recognizes it as empathy just before it disappears and Stark’s face goes blank.

“Why’d you come here then?”

“You looked lonely enough to make some irreversible mistakes.”

Stark looks like he’s about to argue, but seems to change his mind.  He takes a deep breath, crosses his arms over his chest, and shrugs.

“Fine,” he says.  “I won’t tell anyone.”

“Including Steve?”

Stark nods.  “Including Steve.”

Bucky knows his relief is visible, but he finds that he doesn’t care.  Stark looks at him as if he knows how big of a deal it is for Bucky to honestly display any emotion.  Bucky finds himself wanting to be even more honest than he’s already being.

“You know,” Bucky says, not sure what’s he’s trying to accomplish, “I would’ve asked you out under different circumstances.”

“Can we pretend they’re different?” Stark asks, almost laughing.

“Not to that extent.”

“Can we pretend to the point where you stay the night instead of running off within the next few minutes?”

Bucky hesitates long enough for Stark to add, “The soonest one of the others will be back is Monday.”

“We can,” Bucky replies.

 

Stark shows Bucky around the tower, and graciously lets him survey each room for possible escape routes.  He catches sight of Bucky staring at an entrance to the air vent system, and explains how Barton uses it to sneak around the tower under the guise of “needing practice”. Stark further explains that the only reason Barton gets away with it is because Romanov agrees with him, although Stark’s convinced she only does so because she enjoys watching Barton repeatedly scare the life out of Stark.  Bucky doesn’t remember much of Natasha Romanov outside of a few brief interactions, but Stark’s theory seems pretty sound to him.

Stark shows Bucky where everyone’s rooms are, but he doesn’t let him go inside any of them.  Bucky doesn’t mind, seeing as he feels a bit intrusive already, and he’s found enough escape routes to last a lifetime.  Stark lets him go through each guest room, once they reach them, and tells him he’s free to choose whichever room he wants.  Bucky chooses the one where the windows of no other building can look in, and Stark doesn’t comment on it.  

Bucky always thought that, if he ever interacted with other people, they’d comment on his strange behaviour.  Stark simply accepting it without batting an eye is a much welcomed alternative.

Bucky feels like he’s crossing some sort of boundary by walking into Tony’s workshop, but at least he’s crossing it with an invitation.  Stark introduces him to the robots wheeling around as their robotic brethren, so Bucky takes off his glove and rolls up the sleeve covering the metal arm and the robots all whir and beep approvingly.  

“Do you ever clean this place?” Bucky says, nodding towards the upturned empty pizza box at the foot of the couch.

“Someone’s supposed to,” Stark says, throwing a half-hearted glare at DUM-E.  “That box has been there for so long I don’t want to touch it.”

“How long?” Bucky asks, going over and picking it up.

“It’s been there since the night before everyone else left,” Stark says, watching Bucky hand the box to DUM-E so the robot could get rid of it.  “Steve brought down pizza because I hadn’t eaten anything in a while.  I only ate one piece though; he had the rest.”

“At least his monstrous appetite is being satiated.”

Bucky sits on the couch and takes a good look around the room.  He can see nearly everything in the lab, and he’s pretty sure the couch was placed here for that exact reason.  He looks at Stark who has some kind of emotion present on his face.  Bucky can’t tell what it is, and it frustrates him.

“Steve sits here a lot, doesn’t he?”

The indiscernible look on Stark’s face becomes more prominent.  “How can you tell?”

“You can see the majority of the room from here,” Bucky explains.  “Probably the best vantage point you can get without rearranging everything.”

“So that’s why he moved it,” Stark says.  “He said it was for ‘aesthetic purposes’.”

“A partial truth.  He did have a tendency to move things around until they looked the way he wanted them to.  And I had to do most of the moving with him because he couldn’t lift anything to save his life.”  

Stark smiles, but his expression leans more towards the sad end of the spectrum.  Bucky gets rather frustrated that he can't read anything past that, but his frustration is outweighed by how impressed he is that Stark can make himself so inscrutable. Stark seems to be just as good as Bucky when it comes to hiding dysfunction behind the guise of being collected.  

“You okay there, Barnes?”

Evidently, Bucky isn't as good at it as he thinks he is. 

“Probably not, but it’s bearable.”

This time Bucky recognizes empathy immediately.

“I’ve been there,” Stark says.  “I’m there now, actually.”

Stark looks as if he’s about to say something else, but JARVIS speaks first.

“Sir, I believe I should inform you that Captain Rogers is entering the building.”

Stark practically dives onto Bucky to make sure he doesn’t get off the couch.  Bucky very nearly throws him across the room on reflex and Bucky would have lectured him on being careful if they had the time.

“Where is he, J?” Stark asks.

“Heading towards the elevator in the garage, sir.”

“Stall that elevator,” Stark orders.  He then adjusts himself so he’s sitting on Bucky instead of lying on him.  “Now, you’re gonna stay for a few minutes - ”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, really.  Just be all stealthy and hide somewhere so you can see or hear Steve for yourself, and then you can go.”  Stark seems to want to take that last bit back.  “Unless you don’t have anywhere to go with a roof.  In that case, you’re hiding out in that guest room.”

“Tempting, but the longer I stick around the more likely he is to notice I’m here,” Bucky argues.

“Look, we don’t have time to argue over this,” Stark says.  “You get to hiding, then I’ll get him out of here, and then we’ll sneak you out, got it?”

“Fine, just get off me so I can actually hide.  I can’t exactly climb into the air vent from here.”

Stark stands up and lets Bucky run past him.  Bucky jumps up and nudges the already loose grid out of the way.

“Guilt tripping me into sticking around won’t work,” Bucky says, pulling himself up by grasping the sides of the vent and swinging himself inside feet first.

“Not my intention,” Stark says, helping Bucky adjust the grid.  “Figured it would make you feel a bit better to determine how he is for yourself.”

Stark doesn’t give Bucky a chance to respond.  Instead, he turns and goes over to fiddle with some unfinished project.  Bucky can’t tell what it is for the life of him.

“That elevator’s slower than usual,” Steve says.

Bucky can’t see him yet, but he can hear how tired he is.  It’s strange hearing Steve after so long.  Bucky wouldn’t be able to describe the experience if he were asked.

“Maybe you’re just faster than usual,” Stark replies.  “What’re you doing back so early?”

“You managed to keep track of the passage of time?” Steve asks, sounding amused.

“I only know because I went out for food earlier.”  

There’s a pause, which means Steve’s probably replying nonverbally.  

“Don’t look so impressed,” Stark says, confirming Bucky’s suspicion.  “I can actually get food for myself every once in a while.”

“Did you get food for yourself more than once?” Steve asks.

“Yes, actually.  Although I missed you bringing me food on a silver platter.”

Bucky wonders if Steve’s picking up on the fact that Stark’s trying to flirt.  Steve had always been bad at noticing that.

“I don’t think you even own a silver platter,” Steve replies, obviously on the edge of chuckling.

Bucky shakes his head.  Steve knows.

“J, see if you can order a silver platter,” Stark says.  

“Will this one suffice, sir?”

Bucky sees part of an image pop up in front of Stark, doubtlessly displaying the platter in question, which Stark blocks from Bucky’s view.

“Yup.  Order it.”  The image disappears.  “I won’t eat any food you bring me that isn’t on that thing once it gets here.”

“Even take out?” Steve asks.

“Especially take out.  Give me pizza boxes on a silver platter or give me death.”

Bucky shifts back as Steve comes into view.  He’s in civilian clothes, and his hair looks a bit greasy.  Probably hasn’t showered since he was last in the tower.  He leans on the table he and Stark are standing next to, and Bucky wonders how much sleep Steve’s gotten lately.

“Now, back to the question you so rudely decided not to answer,” Stark says, getting a smile out of Steve.  “How’d you get back so early?”

“Fury gave me more time than I really needed,” Steve explains, smile fading fast.  “Basically an excuse to go look for Bucky since the last time they spotted him he was near the area.”  Steve shifted his weight, and looked down.  “I knew he wasn’t there anymore though.  Not even any signs after the initial look around.  Figured it wasn’t worth it to just hang around for a few days doing nothing, so I came back.”

It’s getting harder for Bucky to fall back on his conditioning and swallow his guilt.  He takes that as a victory.

“Probably for the best,” Stark says.  

“Did you get any new leads while I was gone?” Steve asks.

Stark shrugs.  “My tech hasn’t picked up on anything recently.”

Not technically a lie.  Bucky can tell Stark’s not enjoying keeping Bucky’s presence a secret from Steve, and he almost rethinks his plan.  Then he remembers the look on Steve’s face when Steve realized Bucky couldn’t remember a thing, and he retreats further into the air vent.  He doesn’t want to be on the receiving end of that again.  He doesn’t want to cause any more pain than he already has.  Except he knows he’s doing so now by hiding and getting Stark to lie for him and by dragging Stark into this he’s only made everything worse and -

“Steve, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you are in desperate need of a shower.”

Steve looks back up at Stark, his mouth twitching upwards.  “You think I haven’t noticed?”

“I assumed you’d numbed yourself to the smell,” Stark says.

“Super soldier senses are both a blessing and a curse,” Steve replies.

“Well take mercy on both of us, and take advantage of any of the showers in this tower.  If you think I’m going to sit and watch a movie with you before that, you’re wrong.”

Steve’s face brightens, which Stark is obviously affected by.  

“I’ll do that,” Steve says.  “I’m in the mood for something ridiculously awful.”

“Oh, I can definitely deliver on that front,” Stark replies.  “There’s a full arsenal of those we haven’t touched yet.”

“You pick then,” Steve says, turning away and walking out of the workshop.  

“I’ll meet you up there,” Stark says.  He gestures to the unfinished project.  “Gotta finish screwing a piece on.”

“Don’t get sidetracked, Tony,” Steve says, voice fading as he heads towards the elevator.

“I’ll do my best, Steve,” Stark replies, turning to his project.

A few seconds pass before Stark turns back to Bucky.  Bucky scoots forward in the vent while Stark takes the grid off.  Stark helps Bucky pull himself out and tries to help him regain balance that he never really lost once he lands on the floor.

“Do you two regularly watch movies together?” Bucky asks.

“Yes, and he obviously needs that distraction tonight,” Stark replies.  “Did you change your mind or are you still going?”

Bucky takes a deep breath before replying.  “I’m planning on coming back much sooner than originally planned.”

“I guess that’s the best I can hope for, isn’t it?”

Bucky nods.  “I’ve still got stuff to sort out.”

Stark goes back to the table, scribbles something on the first blank scrap of paper he finds, and then hands it to Bucky.

“Use that number if you need anything,” Stark says.  “I’d recommend taking the stairs down to the garage.  You can get out easily from there.”

Bucky nods, and Stark takes another step forward so they’re as close as they were earlier in the evening.

“Be careful out there, Bucky.  You could run into far worse people in a burger joint if you’re not.”

Bucky lets his impulse control slide just long enough to bring his metal hand up to touch Stark’s cheek.

“I’ll do my best, Tony.”

Bucky lowers his hand, and turns away.  He sprints out of Tony’s workshop, down the stairs, out of the tower, and around the block before he can give in and stay.


End file.
